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    August 29

    FuXk

    下个星期我就语言班毕业喇.以良好优异嘅成绩提前五星期毕业.
    但我却一D都唔开心.
    点解呢度D教育制度咁唔FAIR?点解我係度成绩咁好但要我读Y10?
    学校支支吾吾.话Y11同Y12冇学位而要我插去读Y10.无疑.好打击我学习自信心.
    我嘅忍耐限度已经到达极点.
    嬲嬲哋.我绝对唔甘心要浪费多两年时间去读HS.
    SO我准备去读NSW UNIVERSITY或者Sydney University嘅Foundation..
    Damn damn..迟早激到我爆血管..
    原来提早毕业嘅结果就係澳洲政府求其噻个COURSE俾我.
    可恶..一味顾住赚钱..不理他人死活..
    到底下个月番唔番去好?好矛盾.好挂住爸爸妈妈同班FRIENDS..
    报个雅思CROUSE读下先.到时考到5.5分就可以去读FOUNDATION喇..哈哈.
    我呢排确实好唔开心.係时候番中国充下电.
    嚟咗几个月.学咗D乜?
    学咗D唔係好WORK澳洲政府规定要读嘅呃钱语言.
    CRAZY SHIT.识到班破烂语言班同学.
    老实讲.佢哋教识咗我好多嘢.
    教识咗我这个世界是如何丑恶.
    成班虚伪自私的破烂分子.
    I am so sick of those crazy suking shit.
    我还有几日就可以脱离这群自私嘅SHIT.

    夜深人静嘅时候,我不禁问自己:"呢个几月我有开心过么?"
    出嚟见识过,原来就是这样一回事.
    付出代价太多.
    值得么?
    我怀念我过去幸福的日子. 
    August 22

    What da hell..

    最近我發現我嘅花名越嚟越多..日日新奇日日鮮..
    我已經俾LEON激死喇..此名可惡嘅死肥仔..仲有FIRE這個幫兇..
    面對佢哋對我開嘅玩笑,我冇力反抗..激得只剩下半條人命..
    呢兩日嘅花名係..小花..
    乍看係個可愛嘅名.實際上係有另外一層黃色嘅含義..

    最近我出現咗個競爭對手.越南大哥.佢嘅英語都好勁.唸起我嘅學習鬥志又來了.
    我要加倍努力先得喇.!!!

    KELVIN經常教班人廣東話.唉.我勸咪教咁多喇.第日俾佢哋學曬我哋就冇曬籌碼喇.
    可惡嘅小白這名女性友人..竟然幫住班男生..重色輕友..

    冇曬意見.

    腦海中依然經常浮現出小饅頭嘅笑臉.嗚嗚.好想見到佢啊.

    舊饅頭最近串曬咁.唔知邊個得罪佢.成個惡霸咁..
    無可奈何.
    有時我會唸.如果佢高二揾到個女朋友.我實好心痛.

    悅同彈個簽證批咗喇.恭喜恭喜.
    有小彈彈嚟陪我.而淫魔就去加拿大.
    多麼的不舍啊.高中這兩年嘅節日啊,開心,唔開心,失戀都係佢哋陪我度過.
    而依家卻要各散東西.唸起就想喊..
    我知道悅好痛錫我.佢好直腸直肚.但對住我,佢收起咗平時嘅火爆.
    當我有挫折.佢唔會好似對彈彈同奶媽咁火爆.我FEEL到佢係照顧到我感受.
    我哋真係好夾.有種相逢恨晚嘅感覺.
    係一中嘅兩年不枉過.識到班咁好嘅死黨.
    悅真唔話得.明知發短信到澳洲好貴,佢都依然同我發.好感動.呢段日子如果冇咗佢.真係唔知點撐住啊.
    我好怕佢到時去咗CANADA,忙咗起嚟就少咗聯絡.唸起呢樣我個心就好酸.
    希望佢唔好忘記我哋嘅約定喇.考到大學我哋一齊去旅行..哈哈!!

    而小彈彈希望佢嚟到呢邊會長大喇.好多事佢處理得都好唔成熟.
    我好想佢重視下我哋班F對佢嘅忠言.次次佢俾我感覺就係聽咗但入唔到腦.

    我唸我今年聖誕都會同彈過了.缺少了悅.傷感.嗚嗚.
    祝你哋一路順風.我親愛的淫魔同彈彈.

    千FA,張敬軒同埋林一峰都出咗新碟.
    全都係我最愛.特別林一峰.另類歌手.
    而千FA嘅新碟,我最愛<集體回憶>.<陌路>.<知情識趣>.<同病相愛>.<最後今天>.<傑出青年>..
    感覺上千FA成熟了.林夕的歌詞更是入心入肺.

     

     

     

     

     

    August 20

    Lose..

    星期天晚上例牌失眠夜..
    依然在电脑前搜索我的SOFT BANK 707SC到底有冇机会刷成中文机..
    结果係徒然..
    竟然有D后悔买咗部机..买咗咁耐.好少用..外形係劲靓.但冇中文输入..我点同DF SMS?
    还是我的N73比较好..
    今日.哈.所谓七夕.我係屋企闷咗成日.难免有D唏嘘.
    唸住揾下佢倾计.结果依然是冷淡对待.我百思不得其解.
    之前几日仲好哋哋.点解突然咁冷淡.莫非我又讲错嘢?
    硬係有种我一直以嚟都係一头热嘅感觉.而佢只係适当俾些少配合我.
    解释所谓讲错嘅嘢.竟然唔复我..晕.可能佢唔知点复.
    然后我叫佢今晚倾电话佢就话听晚先.
    好似冇听过我之前讲嘅嘢.WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
    咁又係.我会唔会拍拖都唔关佢事.点解我要解释呢?
    唸到一只歌送俾自己,陈小春嘅<犯贱>.
    犯贱到极.

    如果我以前同MR.MA一齐嘅时候有依家咁主动就好.起码唔会输得一败涂地.
    发信息揾悦,奶妈同青蛙.
    悦话我上咗HS会好D.依家係寂寞所致.係囖.上到HS识多D朋友.咁就冇咁寂寞喇.
    我知道悦一向都唔支持我对某人一头热噶..
    SORRY.我情不自禁的..
    奶妈话我预咗我今日会唔开心.
    不愧係个同我相似嘅人.
    我知佢都好似唔係好开心.但我以为佢仲係嬲紧寻日龙某放佢飞机嘅事.
    打开佢空间先知道.原来佢爸爸嘅病情加重了.
    我嘅心亦沉重了.唔知点解我都有想喊嘅感觉.
    我嘅烦恼同奶妈嘅烦恼相比简直不是什么烦恼.
    佢嘅伤心比我嘅重一千倍.我唔知自己可以帮到D乜.

    窗外嘅雨依然不停地下.落咗成日喇.就好似我嘅心情一样.
    我相信今日绝对唔係一个好日子.青蛙同君君都向我诉苦.
    俗话说旁观者清.当局者迷.
    佢哋嘅情况我都睇得清楚.青蛙应该放弃一个唔识去care佢嘅男人.君君应该忘记过去.
    讲就咁讲.相信好难做到.
    而我自己呢? 
    August 18

    What is Love?

    又是一個失眠夜..在床上翻來覆去.久久不能入睡.

    不知道是肉體上冰冷還是心靈上冰冷令我一直睡不好..

    我想我心情不太好了.

    於是動身打開了電腦來更新這個MSN SPACE.抒發自己滿腔的鬱悶.

    現在是淩晨一點多.我依然在飛快地打著字.

    今天給他打了個電話.回想起來自己好像說得有點過分了.興奮過度然而說話不經大腦..Such a Jerk-off I was.

    然後睡不著的時候發了N短信給他,可能太在乎他.到現在他還沒有回覆我,已經睡了吧.

     

    心情依然沉重.但每當我看著LEON發給我的KELVIN惡搞相片之後.我便會開懷大笑一翻..

    可能我比較無聊吧..無聊人看無聊惡搞照總是會笑..LEON,KELVIN,FIRE他們相處得不錯.他們總愛欺負我.

    LEON今天有點過火.竟然給我起個可惡的花名..YELLOW TRIANGLE..令我被人笑了一番..

    面對如此可惡之事.我束手無策.!

    想想再過3星期語言班便畢業了.大家各散東西.心中難免有不舍.

     

    前天EX給我發了封E-MAIL.不知道為什麼看著竟然滿眼淚水.

    雖然他只是訴說一些瑣碎的事情.

    可能他比較關心我吧.竟然有點感動.

    現在他和皇上一起應該很開心吧.其實我也很為他們高興.

    很懷念初中純真的年代.一起聊電話直至夜深.放學他用單車載我回家.他對我的好是無可挑剔的.

    他說過,曾經懷疑有什麼陰謀論存在於我倆,但實際上是沒有的.

    當時我們感情比較純潔.雙方都很投入.謝謝他給過我如此美好的一段感情.

    但一切已經成為過去.讓過去封塵吧.想起只有美好的回憶.

    很難得分了手還有朋友可以做.

    現在只希望他跟皇上可以長長久久.

     

    人最無奈最可悲就是日漸成熟.我想很難再對一個人如此投入.

    這一年來我活在回憶中.寧願讓很多好對象白白遊蕩過也不願接受另外一段感情.

    SHIT.太忠於自己感覺.愛一個是怎樣.我想在這個年紀很難理解.

    在這世界上.除了爸爸媽媽稱得上是愛,其他的只是一種好感或者喜歡.並不是所謂愛.

    人最愛的還是自己吧.

     

    很難理解某人所有的要有愛先可以在一起這句話.

    他太FANCY.有點不切實際.如何有愛才一起?愛不是無端白事便會出來的.

    有愛才能一起,未免太牽強了.

    問世間,有多少情侶是一開始因為愛便一起?相信99%都是因為好感一起吧.

    真愛只出現在螢光幕上.只有什麼帥哥美女才一整天談情不顧一切.

    人還是實際點好吧.

     

    兩個人一起的原因大概只是為了片刻的歡愉. 

    August 08

    Wake up Call

       近期最爱嘅MAROON 5最新派台作品..果然冇估错!係WAKE UP CALL啊! 除咗呢只作品之外.MAKE ME WONDER我已经听到识唱啦.. BETTER THAT WE BREAK.LITTLE OF YOUR TIME.NOTHING LAST FOREVER都係我嘅FAVOURTE. D歌词写得超正..今年GRAMMY我睇好佢哋!!!

    [Verse]

    I didn't hear what you were saying.
    I live on raw emotion baby
    I answer questions never maybe
    And I'm not kind if you betray me.
    So who the hell are you to say we
    Never would have made it babe.

    [Bridge]

    If you needed love
    Well then ask for love
    Could have given love
    Now I’m taking love
    And it’s not my fault
    Cause you both deserve
    What is coming now
    So don’t say a word

    [Chorus]

    Wake up call
    Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed
    Don't you care about me anymore?
    Don’t you care about me? I don't think so.
    Six foot tall
    Came without a warning so I had to shoot him dead
    He won't come around here anymore
    Come around here? I don't think so.

    [Breakdown]

    Would have bled to make you happy
    You didn't need to treat me that way
    And now you beat me at my own game
    And now I find you sleeping soundly
    And your lovers screaming loudly
    Hear a sound and hit the ground


    [Bridge]

    If you needed love
    Well then ask for love
    Could have given love
    Now I’m taking love
    And it’s not my fault
    Cause you both deserve
    What’s coming now
    [Wake Up Call lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

    So don’t say a word

    [Chorus]

    Wake up call
    Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed
    Don't you care about me anymore?
    Don’t you care about me? I don't think so.
    Six foot tall
    Came without a warning so I had to shoot him dead
    He won't come around here anymore
    Come around here?
    I don’t feel so bad, I don’t feel so bad, I don’t feel so bad

    [Breakdown]

    I'm so sorry darling
    Did I do the wrong thing?
    Oh, what was I thinking?
    Is his heart still beating?

    Woah oh ohh

    [Chorus]

    Wake up call
    Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed
    Don't you care about me anymore?
    Don’t you care about me? I don't think so.
    Six foot tall
    Came without a warning so I had to shoot him dead
    He won't come around here anymore
    Come around here anymore? I don’t feel so bad

    Wake up call
    Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed
    Don’t you care about me anymore?
    Don’t you care about me? I don’t think so.
    Six foot tall
    Came without a warning so I had to shoot him dead
    He won’t come around here anymore
    No, he won’t come around here. I don’t feel so bad

    I don’t feel so bad (Wake up call)
    I don’t feel so bad (Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed)
    I don’t feel so bad (Don’t you care about me anymore?)
    Care about me? I don’t feel so bad.
    Wake up call
    Caught you in the morning with another one in my bed
    Don't you care about me anymore?

    My Confession

    最近重感冒了..连续两天待在家里..呜呜..痛苦无比..
    呢几日发梦都会梦见一D F..好方缪嘅梦..
    诗华同我踩单车放学去食嘢....帆哥仔同我死灰复燃??
    晕..点解会发D咁梦?D春梦离奇得可怕..
    渐渐习惯咗喺澳洲孤独寂寞嘅感觉..冇乜打电话翻去中国.唔知班F依家过得点呢?好挂住佢哋.
    但暂时都唔打扰佢哋.
    同小馒头都好耐冇联络.唔知佢点呢.呵呵.应该同佢心上人发展得唔错噜..
    嗯.当我FEEL到佢有心上人嘅时候.我就决定唔再打扰佢噜.
    人哋都有中意嘅人.何苦还要苦苦纠缠?LET IT GO.
    死缠烂打唔係我性格.我好清楚我唔係佢杯茶.
    只要佢依家过得开心我就心满意足喇.
    呢名小朋友好难睇明..好似好怕受伤咁..谁来拯救佢?
    感情就係咁喇.难免有伤害.
    开心过就得喇.我同以前条仔都经常都咁讲..
    寻寻觅觅一年.分手成年.我依然係单身.
    好似缺少咗开始一段新嘅感情嘅勇气.
    以前睇过本书.话两个人相爱一齐係一件难得嘅事..以前唔明白入边嘅含义.
    依家深切咁明白了解到句话嘅意思.
    上天有时就係咁残酷.你中意嘅人就唔中意你.而中意自己嘅偏偏就对佢冇感觉.
    所以两个人可以相爱确实係件幸运嘅事.
    有时点解有得一齐嘅时候就唔好好去珍惜呢?到失去咗就会后悔.
    过多五个星期我就可以去上HS.我希望可以遇到个大家都有FEEL嘅人.
    单恋嘅话就唔好喇.太辛苦喇.无止境嘅付出.
    感情係互动噶.双方都有付出先有意思.
     
    August 04

    Bye.HS3.

    今日係畢業日..當然唔係我畢業喇..係我班HS3同學仔畢業..

    早上又遲咗起身喇.搭火車時就見到P.我哋兩個一齊有講有笑咁一齊行翻TAFE.

    好難得有機會咁..佢話佢尋晚同V君傾到兩點先訓..

    ..兩個大男人睇星星兼睇到UFO咁款(其實係飛機)..

     

    為慶祝班同學仔畢業.我哋成班人搞咗個大食PARTY..

    喺個PARTY度我情不自禁偷拍起P...真猥瑣..

    佢中午問我攞咗個手機,我俾咗佢...原來佢係想睇相..跟住我就即刻想搶翻部機..點知唔得..

    .俾佢睇到我部相機咁多偷拍相..仲有我D無聊自拍....醜死人喇..

     

    畢竟相處咗5個星期.如今大家要離別了.我心中難免有D不舍..

    難得同P君開始熟絡了.但卻要分開了.我哋什麼聯繫方式都冇留低.

    D遺憾.可能相處多排會做到好朋友都未定.

    冇所謂喇.反正大家住埋同一個SUBURB.有機會見到嘅~

     

    心情好複雜..依家發現自己好唔捨得班同學仔.

    越南仔KY好搞笑.成日SHUT UP,Come on Man.D發音好爆笑.佢成日話我係FAT GIRL.

    通常我都會用MOTHER F**ker回應翻佢,佢跟住就OMG..

    哈哈.

     

    ANDY成個型仔咁.佢日日都去CHECK EMAIL.哈哈.當然係同國內嘅HONEY嘅親密通信喇..

    佢成日同越南女仔HUONGTINA打情罵俏嘅..仲有同PAUL扮講越南話.勁搞嘢..!!

    呢兩個女仔都係好純樸嘅.對我好好.

     

    死肥仔LOUIS成日蝦鬼我,打我.!可惡..仲踩我只腳..好彩我踩翻十下補數!!佢又用相機偷拍我!....

     

    韓國人SANG好內向..我哋成日笑鬼佢..佢容易俾D老師揾笨..

     

    FELICITY英語唔錯.身材樣貌都唔錯....個老公成日嚟TAFE探佢.羡慕..幸福..

     

    ANNIESEXY..俾我印象係個好貪靚嘅女人..但同我幾好傾..越南的..

     

    再見了.HS3嘅同學們.有緣再見喇.同你哋一齊學習嘅五個星期我好開心!!!好愉快!!

     

    P.S.演講算幾順利喇..但我依然係好緊張..聲音顫抖..有待改進.. 

    August 02

    仿如中六合彩..

    前晚去咗我準備轉去嘅HS參觀..學校開放夜..

    N多鬼載住自己D子女嚟參觀..

    感覺上間學校嘅設施唔錯.見到幾個講住廣東話嘅型男索女..

    ..唔知我命運如何..好憎澳洲政府嘅政策..HS一定要讀夠兩年先俾考大學..勁無奈..

    為自己前途..就算比國內的兄弟姊妹們遲一年畢業又如何..我相信SYDNEY UNIVERSITY嘅大門係為我敞開的..

     

    最近壓力大咗..連乜乜都遲嚟咗..嗚嗚..

     

    今日DRAMA,意外地全HS班公認最靚仔嘅PAUL同我演COUPLE..

    仿佛我好似中咗六合彩一樣..

    係戲入邊,佢攬咗我一下..同埋向我求婚添..OMG..

    我竟然冇乜感覺..我對住個又高大又靚仔嘅PAUL竟然絲毫沒有心動..

    睇嚟我嘅免疫力遠遠比某些人強..就算有身體接觸都唔容易動心.

    哈哈..N年未試過同男人擁抱.

    久旱逢滋潤..

     

    聽日有幸俾老師點名做畢業典禮演講人..我會盡力做好..

    THANKS FOR 咁睇得起我..

     

    仲有..我怕咗泰國仔..請別煩我了..